Hello. Classes during the holidays are the absolute worst but hey, we do what we have to do. Here’s my 2014 review. Yes, another one. I’m guessing you’ve already read sooo many. This is mine. Didn’t want to but someone convinced me to so I said, “why not?”. Before you go on, let me state this. There are mistakes in this work, yes mistakes. I chose, at the last minute, to leave the work as raw as possible. Why? 2014 was filled with mistakes quite a lot and even though I wish I could I can’t possibly edit them and voila. Some mistakes your brain will automatically correct. Others? You’ll get the point and just keep reading. So there, hope you enjoy it. Happy New Year!!!
It was the year 2014. Were we in the old ages I’d add something like ‘after the year of our Lord’ or something fancy like that. As it turns out though, I am neither particularly religious or remotely interested in such minute things. So yeah, 2014.
I had walked into the year, like almost all if not all of us do, with new resolutions. To be a better man, bathe more, grow a beard, find ‘bae’, go to church, desist from and resist gossiping and gossips, stop being a bitch, smoke less or more, drink more or less, get a proper FWB and the likes. And honestly, I felt I could accomplish at least some if not all. “Yeah right!”, yeah? I know. So here I am now at the end of 2014 with nothing but a small tuft of hair growing from my chin and my annoying full side burns that just won’t join the tuft of hair to form a proper beard. Ugh! However, I met 12 people this year and each brought me here, this moment, this review.
So here I am, a bare ‘chinned’ young man walking into 2014 when I stumbled across January. Janus. The beginning and the end. Simultaneously looking at both past and future. At this point I’m stuck with being just who I was and who I want to be. It’s really tiring and stressful. I’m lazy. I don’t do tiring. There were a lot of things I could change about myself, wanted to, but in the end it’s easier said than done. January is the month of my birth and my birthday for me, like all other ‘holidays’, is just a chore. Yes! I’m alive but really I’m older than I was the day before as the day before and the day… You get the point. So this year, I made up my mind to not celebrate my birthday. My friends however refused to just sohj and allow your boy reflect on his aging life. They al turned up in my room with the cake and Voila! Your boy turned 19 in January, the month of Janus. This was also the end of the legendary ASUU strike. And my first MB was upon me (yes I’m a medical student, sorry, dental student). There were tests to write and all so I threw my ambitions of being a better me to the curbs. What’s the point of being a better me and ending up a dropout?
February. The month of love according to you peeps. I had no “love” save my phone and I was content. Valentine’s day wahala. Red, red, red everywhere. For me the red was more for Februalia. The period for atonement of sins. Sins? Isn’t it too early in the year? Apparently it wasn’t. Due to the strike we had a pot load of tests that we had to devour. I was,am, no glutton plus I was, am, not a fan of tests which only serve to acknowledge one’s cramming potential and not their actual application of acquired information. As a result, I let the joys of the home I just left behind, my anger at the pointlessness of said tests and my overpowering laziness to drown me. Consequently, I failed all, yes ALL, my tests this month. My sins which were living in the past, taking Panadol on top a situation that was beyond my ability to change and my general laziness were dearly atoned for. I had failed all my tests and my MB was looming. The year was already looking like a hell.
March. At this point, I had failed the first series of test. I was prepared to learn from my mistakes and progress in such a way that even my laziness would be in awe. What a fool I was. My laziness was having none of it. And thus, March for me was aptly named. I was at war. Mars had taken a likening to me and my path was laden with all sorts of treacherous battles. There was the dry season vs the rainy season,which of course meant I had to become a meteorologist in order to preserve my clothes. There was my old me vs new me, which though treacherous was not really a battle as I had simply chosen to avoid it and focus on other battles. The battles were a lot but I shall name the most important and end for the sake of both your time and my sanity. Finally, there was my laziness vs my urge to be great. I’d like to inform y’all that I came through my battles unscathed and without damage and sane of mind but that would be a lie. Laziness still reared its head and took a pound of flesh as even though I passed some tests, I still failed some major ones and was still left reeling as the date to my MB slowly and steadily approached.
April. This was lowkey a good month. For I met an amazing person in this month. It was truly the month that I opened up. We had less tests or at least that I can remember the tests were good. My memory is a jumble actually majorly cause of this person I met. Yes, it was a girl. No, it was not bae and she had a boyfriend. How then? Meeting someone for the first time and having the kind of connection we did the day we met was rare for me as I rarely opened up that much. I build walls and hide myself within. This would example why I have a great respect for my friends who scaled the walls to reach me. (This I am trying to change.) So yeah it was special. And I am grateful for this person. For it was in April that I was truly free ‘aperire’. Also my tuft had started appearing small small on my chin. Surely, you can see how good April was to me?
May. It was hard to live in this month. I fell ill for most of the month. Here’s what happens when I fall ill, I over think and become annoyingly sober. So that was May. It was getting closer to MB and I was not prepared in the least. At this point, the rumors had started flying that the MB, long awaited for the ASUU strike had delayed us, was to be in August. Considering the amount of workload I had left and the state my illness had left me in, May was a real struggle. I looked forward to June with dread as my landlord, for I stayed off campus, was threatening us all for eviction. I didn’t want to leave May. But time went as usual and May let me go.
June. The worst. I suffered a heartbreak greater than any I ever had in my life. My phone got irreparably damaged. I have never in my life felt as downtrodden as I felt that night as I watched my phone vibrate meaninglessly in the cup of rice I had put it in to dry the water that caused the damage. It was this month that opened my already opened eyes to the flow of life. No one is indispensable. Life will go on. You will be just a memory in the end. And eventually? No one will be left to remember you. At this point, I must say a big thank you to @QueenCleo92 for recommending to me The Fault In Our Stars novel. And so I spent June in such tremendous heartache that even narrating it now fills my heart with a dull ache like a weight is crushing my precordium. Horrible and I can not even in the depths of my heartlessness wish June on my worst enemies.
July. This was filled with false hope and dread. False hope that my phone would be fixed and my heart mended. Dread that my MB was in August as the rumors had suggested and that my failure was imminent. July. Let me tell you about hope and its evils… Hope is dangerous. Extremely so. I can say cause I have experienced it firsthand. Everytime I heard the callertune of the guy that was to repair my phone, my heart legit skipped a beat. “Today will be the day”, I chanted, ironically with great enthusiasm, to all my friends and random strangers who cared to listen. And everytime the line went dead, my heart would totally empty its volume and the blood slowly drain from my face; it won’t be today. And so on and on it went before I realized it was pointless and collected the carcass of my beloved for a befitting burial. So hope really is deadly. My advice? Hope with sense. Stay woke. The dread? That persisted and followed me till I met August.
August. I entered this with my heart heavy that my failure was imminent. How would I face my friends if I couldn’t pass my MB? How would I explain it to my mother? Imagine the joy in my heart when I finally found out the rumor was spread by the devil himself. I had time to read. I was excited. And then I saw the silver lining in the dark cloud that was the loss of my beloved phone. I could read without distractions. I could read without the various worlds the numerous novels I had stockpiled on my phone offered me. There was no room for chatting or tweeting. No distraction. Nothing. Looking back now, I honestly don’t know how I could have made it without the loss of my beloved. And so I got to work. I had to pass, failure was not an option.
September. In this month, I burnt all the candles the world had to offer and let go of all life’s worries but the coming of my MB. It was at this time, the official date was announced. We were to face the biggest battles of our lives in October. For the first day in my life, I read for a whole day non stop. I didn’t move from a spot save for the basic personal needs like eating and toilet duties. I realized in this month that one is only as strong as they think they are. I realized that God as much as they would like us to believe was not only in the churches but really everywhere and that going to church did not a Christian make or mar. By the end of this month I wasn’t ready for the exam and it was scary. I was truly scared and I tried to let it show. Most times you see someone laughing real hard, trying so hard to be a source of joy to others and on the inside the person is battling something you can’t even begin to understand. Never in my life had I confronted the fear of failure so blatantly before. Never. It was everywhere I looked. I’d look at a beggar and wonder if just maybe once he too was a medical student who failed his first MB. Yes it was too much but fear deals with each person in a different way. For as many unique human beings there are, fear has a way of dealing with us all. It was this fear that drove me to go to BeatFm for a contest a few days before the exam already plotting an alternative should I fail… Fear summarized this month to be honest and it was unhealthy.
October. It had arrived. The dreaded month. It was at this month I realized that all the shouting and screaming, binding and loosing, scabashing and cabashing, were really the same if not less, for one spent way too much energy on these types of prayers, as simple short worded joke like prayers said to your heavenly Father with the sincerest of soul and heart. With a longing that made him know that at that moment you just wanted him to know you were there and remind him that you were his. This was the month I realized that. After 19 whole years. There are soo many stories I could give of how this was evident but that would be me evidently trying to use my “testimonies” to force my beliefs down your throat and that is not the purpose for this piece. However, believe me – no, doubt me for you can never really be certain- when I say that prayer is a lot more than chanting on the last day for a new transcript when you spent the last 3yrs of your 4yr course doing absolutely nothing with your life and time. Sometimes, it’s simply about acknowledging his presence and letting him know that you acknowledge his presence, lifting your heart up to him and just staying there basking in his presence even if you ask for nothing. That is prayer. That was October. The exams had come and just like that they vanished. What he had waited for and dreaded for 10months had come and gone in a flash. That was it. I celebrated by braiding my hair, for it was really high, but I was anxious. The results will come out the next month.
November. Result month. When the day arrived, there was a strange calm that came over me that morning, no shit I am not lying. I realized that even if I failed I had options. I could also write? (Please do not laugh at me here. This was actually a legit option, my consolation.) When I saw my matric number on the board I smiled and walked away. Remembering the confusion that was on my face when I walked out of the Biochemistry exam hall and the incoherent speech – speechlessness (easiest way to describe that state to be honest) that overcame me at that moment, I started to laugh out loud. I was extremely excited. I had made it and that was it. I had begun my race and had a good start. The journey had just begun and I had succeeded. Success breeds success and I couldn’t wait to taste more. I was also excited cause my whole crew, yes I have a crew that doesn’t wrap, fly planes or sail ships, had also passed too. It was glorious. I left school for a break that was well deserved seeing as I had been in Ibadan surrounded by… nevermind, for 10 months and more. November was a great month. The real highlight of my year. The climax. The high. The whatever else you want to use to describe it, it was it. November.
December. Generally, I hate this month. Why? Christmas. Yes, yes, I do not like Christmas. My problem? The holiday has been turned to a whole materialistic thing that just disturbs me. It’s no more about the reason though everyone likes to make a big fuss out of going to church and all that. Let’s leave that though. Another time. Starting clinicals have left me busy and tired and more aware of life, more grateful that I am well. So December made me a better person in that now I am content with the moment. I still can’t stand random people and all but that has to be for another year. This month was quite wicked sha. I lost my laptop with which went, my movies, my MUSIC, my NOVELS and my porn stash( I tried to make this lower than small letters but I’m a tad bit technologically backward). It hurt but then I have my new phone, bought in November by the way (see? November was clearly a high), which is the elder sister of my love which I lost in June so it hurts a bit less still hurts though (I have a thing for mature women :)). Hopefully going to replace it but I don’t know the struggle determines… Connected more with a friend I knew before and guess what? I have a womb to lay my black man blood babies in!! Haha! No, she is not bae. We are both still single. See it is a long story. Anyways, it looks like the year will end on a high even though I have classes on the last day of the year and intend on spending my crossover reading for the workload of a med student never diminishes. December.
2014. The year is gone and honestly I am glad. My graduation is coming closer though it is still 3 years away *huge bucket filling tears*. How was my 2014? I’ve given you the review. You be the judge.
P.S: The tufts of hair on my chin did not connect to my sideburns but we are getting there. 2015: The year of connections.